Washed, Missing, Victorious: Levi's One Last Ride

In what experts are already calling "a statistical anomaly" and "probably a bug", Levi of Money Talks has successfully won a series in mid div against Free Bans Gang.

The same Levi who, according to the luscious man himself, was "retiring". The same Levi whose Dota 2 career was compromised the moment he met the love of his life and discovered that there are activities outside of hitting creeps for 12 consecutive hours.

History is littered with once-promising players who wandered into relationships, never to be seen again except occasionally appearing online for a Turbo game (@Leinad).

Levi appeared destined for the same fate. His reaction times slowed. His game knowledge became increasingly outdated. Rumors circulated that he had "hung up the mouse".

The word "washed" was thrown around with reckless abandon.

And yet, against Free Bans Gang, something happened.

Whether it was muscle memory from a bygone era or divine intervention, Levi harnessed his vintage pleb div tier magic to drag himself across the finish line and secure a series victory.

Witnesses described the performance as "more surprising than the league actually being ticketed by game day 1".

One unnamed teammate reportedly stated:
"I might make another Tom.C poll", although we aren't sure if this had any relevance to the game.

Sources close to the player claim that immediately following the victory, Levi celebrated by checking his pension and cracking open a crossword.

The result leaves Free Bans Gang searching for answers.

How did a supposedly washed player manage to emerge victorious?

Unfortunately, no one knows.

Researchers are currently reviewing the replay files to determine whether the outcome can be replicated under laboratory conditions.

Money Talks intend to return to normal form shortly (getting dumpstered in sub 20 minutes). Until then, the Kobold League record books will forever show the impossible:

Levi, washed.
Levi, retired.
Levi, boyfriend.
Levi, victorious.
Money, talks.